Gossip in the Workplace

 Staffroom gossip is a serious problem in the workplace that nobody wants to admit to being a part of, nor does anyone want to be a victim of. The insidious nature of gossip causes: broken trust, broken relationships, hurt feelings, and an unhealthy workplace environment that inhibits creativity and productivity.

Definition: idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. 

Synonyms: hearsay, scandal, slander, chatter, meddling, defamation.

Definition of insidious: operating in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect.

It would be safe to say that there is nothing good about gossip and the person who likes to indulge, even in a "little bit of gossip", is part of its poison. I make no apology to the person reading this who might be thinking, "that's a bit harsh". If you are able to give me an account of someone who has benefited by gossip in a positive way without anyone getting hurt, then by all means, please let me know.

Why do we listen to gossip? I must admit it feels good when a colleague comes to me and in a conspiratorial whisper, asks, "Do you want to hear a little bit of gossip?" It sounds like they want to include me because they trust me and want me to be part of their group. My first reaction is to say "Yes" because I want to be popular and I want to be liked. One of the first schools I taught at, the principal used to say, "If someone it talking to you about someone else behind their back, you can be sure they're doing the same to you." 

Sometimes I might be listening to a colleague chat and then the conversation turns and I am listening to the faults and problems of another staff member. Gossip is not always clearly labelled especially if you trust the person who is speaking and believe them to be speaking honestly. I must admit though, that when I have listened to gossip, I don't feel good. It is discouraging and unhealthy and can often set up the demise of another person's reputation.

The Bible has very clear instructions on the words that come out of our mouths. I looked up Ephesians 4:29 in a number of versions and have included them here for you:

The Living Bible: Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing.

NIV: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

NLT: Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

If you have been a part of gossip and perhaps it's become a habit to join in with others, admit it and take action to remove yourself from gossiping. When someone invites you to join in with them, say "No" and challenge them to "Stop with the goss".  Simply put, step away from the gossip and/or the gossiper. Proverbs 20:19 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much."

If you are friends with someone who gossips, or begins to gossip with you, call them out on it. Speak the truth to them and encourage them to choose words that build others up and benefits the listener. Having said that, clarify with your friend the purpose of the conversation - is it they need clarification/support in their relationship with the person they are talking about, or is it gossip?

Go to the colleague who has been gossiped about and stand with them. Support and encourage them, understanding they're more than likely feeling alone, betrayed and discouraged. I am not suggesting you go to them and tell them they're being gossiped about, simply go to them and ask them how they're going. Listen to them with genuine kindness.

If you are a victim of gossip, seek help from someone you trust. Depending on your school structure, go to someone in leadership, a chaplain, or HR. Gossip is a form of bullying and should not be tolerated in any school. While some may encourage you to "Don't let it get to you", or "Rise above their gossip", you and I know that's easier said than done. It should be dealt with and the gossipers should be reprimanded. Seek action.

How we speak to one another reflects the culture of our school. If we want to build a positive, supportive environment amongst our students, it begins with the staff. The students see how we treat each other and although they might not know how to articulate it, they often know which staff members are kind to their colleagues and which ones are not. 

So, let everything you say be good and helpful. Use your words to encourage those who hear them and bless others. 

Technology and Students:- Part 1

Before technology....

When I first started teaching, it was before the days of mobile phones, laptops, IPads, even desk-top computers. We all knew it was coming but there was no way we could have imagined the impact technology would have on the world.

Many years ago, when I was doing relief teaching years ago, technology was just beginning to bud and teaching computer was a new concept. At the local primary school, the computer teacher would line me up to teach the days he would be off. He would give me the apps he wanted me to teach, so that I could take them home and practise using them, and as I had already entered the world of internet and chatrooms, I enjoyed the extra challenge. Those were the days when a teacher could come into the classroom and 'blow up' all the computers, when computers were feared and when some people viewed them as a hostile opponent. I, on the other hand, wanted to have the latest and best technology.

I walked into the Year 5 computer class and noticed a little green messenger icon in the corner of a few of the children's screens. "It's nothing Miss. I think it helps the computer work" the boy smirked, trying to look innocent and failing. 

A few years later, at another school, a teacher aide handed me a print out of a messenger conversation that had taken place between a few of the older students. She had been cleaning out the library and found it on the printer. I read through the messages and went to the classroom with it in my hand and sat down, pretending to read through it while surreptitiously watching the students. One boy started sliding down in his chair, a girl put her face in her hands and a couple others looked around furtively, their faces a nice shade of red.

I began, "Sometimes, I don't hear or find out when you do something wrong. Other times, you make it easy for me." I paused and shuffled the papers. "I know what LOL, BRB and WTF means, as well as all the other things you have said in your chat with each other."

Those years were the beginning of social forums and since then technology has progressed and advanced, weaving its tentacles into homes and the lives of even very young children. When I started a teaching job at the beginning of 2020, someone on the interview panel asked me what area I would like to grow in professionally and my response was "Using technology in the classroom more effectively." A few weeks later, we were preparing to go into remote learning/teaching from home and I was thrown into the deep end!! Although I did not like being separated from my students and the classroom, I enjoyed the challenge of using technology to educate and engage my students in their learning.

Today, I gave my students a research task and they had to present their findings in a powerpoint presentation. In their small groups, they shared their presentation with each other so that they could work on the same page together. I was proud of how hard they worked and how engaged they were in their learning. I got each group to share their Presentations with me so that I could be a part of their groups. While each group worked, I'd add a new slide with a message of encouragement or fun, or put in a picture of something they liked, do a bit of the editing where needed, or give them ideas about their topic. We laughed and learned and it was good. 

Technology is a useful tool in the classroom and teachers need to figure out how to share it with their class in a meaningful way. Get to know your students and get to know technology. Don't be afraid of either. 

The Teacher-Parent Relationship

The teacher-parent relationship is changeable, fluid and unique and can be either volatile,  stable or even non-existent. The variables that influence the strength of a positive teacher-parent relationship include the school environment, policies, personalities, prior issues and communication and can sometimes stem directly from the heart of a teacher. When I was at uni and we were discussing this topic, a student-teacher asked, "What do we do if the parent doesn't agree with us and refuses to let us do it the right way?" 

That wasn't her exact words but it was certainly the gist of what she believed. Inside I cringed but all of the fresh-faced, young student teachers in that classroom leaned forward expectantly, waiting to hear the words of wisdom about to be imparted by the lecturer. He casually looked around the room, pausing for effect and then sighed and responded that unfortunately that would happen and there was nothing we could do about that. The red-headed student persisted and reframed the question, while the other students nodded in their support for her.

Inside my head, I wondered at the students' audacity. "Who are we to think we have more authority than the parents?" The scenario being discussed wasn't a case of life and death, nor even of best educational practise. From what I remember, it was simply a case of values and even though I wasn't a mother at that time, I doubted that I would have agreed with all the student-teachers in that room on some of their issues and values.

Over the years, there are some things I have learned and experienced about the parent-teacher relationship and one of the most important things I have realised is that you can often tell if a parent is supportive of you, by the child's behaviour and attitude towards you. When teachers and parents communicate with each other and are respectful, kind and friendly, it is more likely the child will feel settled in the classroom and be more confident in their learning. Adversely, a child who is arrogant and disrespectful towards a teacher, is likely reflecting the attitude of his/her parents.

In my first years of teaching, parent-teacher meetings sometimes took the form of a parenting advice session. "How do I get my child to clean up her room?" "How do I get him to do his homework?" "What should I do when my child answers me back?" As I wasn't a parent in my first years of teaching, I sometimes felt that it was best for me to just listen, perhaps answer with, "My parents used to ......." or work through the pros and cons with them when they made a suggestion. 

These days, parent-teacher meetings are more about whether a child is meeting the standards of their year level, what steps need to be taken by the teacher to support the student's learning and what the parents can do to help the child complete his/her homework. A positive meeting allows both the parents and teachers to look for ways to encourage the child to achieve their best academic level, develop a positive social-emotional wellbeing and encourage the child to continue growing in their learning.

As teachers, we need to remember that parents need our support and encouragement and they need us to provide their child with a healthy learning environment. When our students become an adult, they might remember one or two of their primary school teachers' names, or remember an incident or two that happened at school. They might remember learning about recycling, First Nations people, multiplication tables and how to write an information report. They might not remember who it was that taught them how to add one quarter and two sixths or which teacher taught them to play the National anthem on the recorder but they will know if school was a safe learning place for them or not. 

As much as I hate to admit it, I will be forgotten by some of my students and their parents. Some of those students whose lives I thought I had touched, who I remember the time they had that 'I get it!' look in their eye, who I had spent hours trying to figure out a way to help them understand a math concept and who I had spent time reassuring them that they can read... will forget me! But I will know that I provided a safe learning place for them.

The parents, might remember the names of the teachers who went the extra mile for their child, who looked for ways to encourage the students and who partnered with them (the parents) to find the best way forward for their child's learning. They might remember the mistakes that even the best teachers made. But overall, they will remember the way a teacher made them feel and whether or not they were welcomed into their child's classroom. 

It is imperative that teachers respect the parents of their students and show kindness towards them, remembering that long after the teacher has put her books and pens away and walked away from the classroom, the parents and their children will still be parents and their children.