Gossip in the Workplace

 Staffroom gossip is a serious problem in the workplace that nobody wants to admit to being a part of, nor does anyone want to be a victim of. The insidious nature of gossip causes: broken trust, broken relationships, hurt feelings, and an unhealthy workplace environment that inhibits creativity and productivity.

Definition: idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. 

Synonyms: hearsay, scandal, slander, chatter, meddling, defamation.

Definition of insidious: operating in an inconspicuous or seemingly harmless way but actually with grave effect.

It would be safe to say that there is nothing good about gossip and the person who likes to indulge, even in a "little bit of gossip", is part of its poison. I make no apology to the person reading this who might be thinking, "that's a bit harsh". If you are able to give me an account of someone who has benefited by gossip in a positive way without anyone getting hurt, then by all means, please let me know.

Why do we listen to gossip? I must admit it feels good when a colleague comes to me and in a conspiratorial whisper, asks, "Do you want to hear a little bit of gossip?" It sounds like they want to include me because they trust me and want me to be part of their group. My first reaction is to say "Yes" because I want to be popular and I want to be liked. One of the first schools I taught at, the principal used to say, "If someone it talking to you about someone else behind their back, you can be sure they're doing the same to you." 

Sometimes I might be listening to a colleague chat and then the conversation turns and I am listening to the faults and problems of another staff member. Gossip is not always clearly labelled especially if you trust the person who is speaking and believe them to be speaking honestly. I must admit though, that when I have listened to gossip, I don't feel good. It is discouraging and unhealthy and can often set up the demise of another person's reputation.

The Bible has very clear instructions on the words that come out of our mouths. I looked up Ephesians 4:29 in a number of versions and have included them here for you:

The Living Bible: Don’t use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing.

NIV: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

NLT: Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

If you have been a part of gossip and perhaps it's become a habit to join in with others, admit it and take action to remove yourself from gossiping. When someone invites you to join in with them, say "No" and challenge them to "Stop with the goss".  Simply put, step away from the gossip and/or the gossiper. Proverbs 20:19 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much."

If you are friends with someone who gossips, or begins to gossip with you, call them out on it. Speak the truth to them and encourage them to choose words that build others up and benefits the listener. Having said that, clarify with your friend the purpose of the conversation - is it they need clarification/support in their relationship with the person they are talking about, or is it gossip?

Go to the colleague who has been gossiped about and stand with them. Support and encourage them, understanding they're more than likely feeling alone, betrayed and discouraged. I am not suggesting you go to them and tell them they're being gossiped about, simply go to them and ask them how they're going. Listen to them with genuine kindness.

If you are a victim of gossip, seek help from someone you trust. Depending on your school structure, go to someone in leadership, a chaplain, or HR. Gossip is a form of bullying and should not be tolerated in any school. While some may encourage you to "Don't let it get to you", or "Rise above their gossip", you and I know that's easier said than done. It should be dealt with and the gossipers should be reprimanded. Seek action.

How we speak to one another reflects the culture of our school. If we want to build a positive, supportive environment amongst our students, it begins with the staff. The students see how we treat each other and although they might not know how to articulate it, they often know which staff members are kind to their colleagues and which ones are not. 

So, let everything you say be good and helpful. Use your words to encourage those who hear them and bless others.