Recently I heard a politician on the news, provide his solution to maintain teachers in the workforce and encourage new ones to apply: "Work during the school break holidays, work 8:30-5:00pm and work at school, not at home. Give them a 10% pay rise." As my husband pointed out, he's just one politician. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking about how businesses are struggling to get their employees back to work more than 2 or 3 days a week since many are choosing to work from home and can the government and independent schools afford to give a 10% pay rise to their teachers? (If so, why haven't they already?)
When I heard that politician spouting off what he thinks it would take to keep teachers in the workforce, my emotions were stirred and I wondered how you, my colleagues, are coping. It's nearing the end of third term in Australia and it's a notorious time for feeling tired and worn-out so I want to encourage you to hang in there.
I have also been thinking more about parent-teacher relationships and how some of them can take the shine off your enthusiasm. How do you cope with the disgruntled parents and the hurt and/or anger, that may have been caused by their unkind words? What if you have gone to meet with a parent on your own, and you felt ambushed as they tossed out accusations that questioned your professionalism?
Years ago, I was sitting outside on a sunny day, feeling good about how my class was going and talking to a mum who I had a lot of time for. I was in a leadership role and taught her eldest child but her middle child had been having some behavioural issues, especially with one of his peers. The mother demanded to know what the school was doing about it and what steps had been taken to discipline the other child. She believed her child was innocent and was unable to accept her child not only reciprocated but also initiated it. I tried to ensure my conversation was on her child and assured her that the other child was being dealt with, but I was not at liberty to discuss the other child with her.
As we talked, her child came racing over closely followed by the other child. When the other child reached the boy standing behind his mum, he struck him. The mother turned to me and said, "Why didn't you stop that from happening?"
Quite frankly, we have good and bad days and although the good days outweigh the bad days, it's the bad days that chip away at our resilience and our self-confidence. I have been in meetings with parents who choose to confront and blame. I remember when I was doing a short-term contract, a father came up to me in the classroom after the students had left. He was close enough that I could smell his bad breath and he spoke loudly while I stood there trying to placate him. My aid stayed in the room but he was oblivious to her presence and kept up the tirade. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a student come to the doorway of the classroom, then he walked away quickly to find his mum. Meanwhile, the man finished giving me his demands and stormed away.
My aid had to go as she was late for an appointment and I packed up my things and went home. I received a phone call later in the evening from the principal, who had heard about the incident and he reassured me that he felt I was doing a good job, the parent would be dealt with and he encouraged me to do what I needed to relax, then looked forward to me coming back the next day. The next day, the boy who had come to the doorway, brought me a bunch of flowers. His mum told me that he had been worried about how I was being spoken to and was worried that I wouldn't come in to school again.
I could tell you of other intense, confrontational incidences that are 'above my pay grade' and fortunately they are not common occurrences but rather than recall those memories, some of which are painful, I choose not to dwell on them. Having been through those times and knowing it is likely you have or you will also have moments like these, this is what I would encourage you to do:
1. First, if you are to meet with a parent(s) always have another staff member present with you, or at least nearby. If the meeting is getting heated and you feel threatened, excuse yourself immediately and walk away. No matter what.
2. Keep records of any meetings with parents and if a meeting causes you discomfort and/or accusations were made, talk with leadership and let them know what happened and how it made you feel. Good leadership will encourage you, reassure you and remind you that you are valuable and that they've got your back.
3. When you go home that night, do what you can to unwind and get it out of your system. Journal it. Call a trusted friend. Soak in a bubble bath. Listen to music. Watch a feel-good movie, the footy or listen to music. Read a good book. Don't do any school work.
Don't let those moments steal your enjoyment of teaching.
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