** Before I begin this post, I want to assure you that if I mention any child's attributes or 'situations' in any of my posts, the names, places and details that would identify them, have been deliberately changed.
Over the years, I have come across students who are broken. Broken in many different ways for a variety of different hurts that have been thrown at them, that they have no control over. For young children do not have control over what life circumstances and adults thrust upon them.
When I was completing my Masters of Education, the subject I found most intense and challenging was Child Abuse and Neglect. True cases were presented and we analysed, evaluated and discussed what we would do if that child presented in our classroom. Each case broke my heart and I wondered what I would do. I also compared their stories to the stories that I knew had entered into my classrooms and evaluated, with the benefit of hindsight, whether or not I had handled it well.
When I was first teaching, I was young, idealistic and naive, passionate and ready to take on any class. The plethora of information that we have now, thanks to technology and research, was not as readily available those many years ago. Looking back, I made mistakes but I also did some things right and of course there are things I would change if I could go back in time and do it over again now that I know what I know now.
There are children who will grow up and we will never know what became of them or even what happened between the years we taught them and the adult they've become. One bright and intelligent child I taught got in touch with me through Facebook and the words that spewed out of his keyboard shocked me even though they were not directed at me. His perception of life and reality made me wonder what had happened in the intervening years.
So, when you should be sleeping at night but instead you're planning tomorrow's lessons and making adjustments for the students who need it and tossing around theories and solutions for the child in the middle of the classroom who has not been herself lately, keep in mind that you do make a difference. It might be something you said, it might be that you listened or even that you helped her understand fractions "finally". It might be that you gave him a safe place to learn and encouraged him to do his best.
Don't lose heart. When your heart breaks for the child who is broken and who you can't seem to reach, don't give up.
When your heart breaks because a word from a friend or a parent, has broken their heart and you can't put their heart back together again, keep on loving them.
You only have this day, this student, this class for this moment. Give them the safe, engaging, learning environment that only you can provide and do your best. For the child who worries you, research and get support so he/she can be looked after. At the end of the day, when they leave your classroom, you will need to let them go.
Teaching breaks your heart but as another cliché says, it also fills your heart. It is a privilege being a teacher but it is also hard work. Don't be hard on yourself when you feel you've messed up or when you haven't been able to help a student as much as you wanted to, despite giving it your best. If you are questioning your teaching ability, seek out someone you trust in leadership and ask them for an objective opinion. Surround yourself with colleagues who will challenge, encourage and keep you accountable and who will speak the truth with love and grace with you.
Teaching is a work of heart.
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